family
When you're pregnant, everyone gives you advice. Even strangers come up to you and tell you their wise nuggets of information. You hear that your life is over. Women tell you being a mother is greatest thing. You're told that you're never going to get a good night's sleep again. (Which is true, I might add.) You learn which products are musts versus the things you can go without. But you know what no one talks about? You know what you're not prepared for?
POOP.
Seriously. Poop. As common as this thing/event/necessity is in our lives, no one talks about it. Not even when you have a baby. Sure, people talk about diapers and wipes and all of that, but everyone skirts around the actual topic of poop.
Let me tell you a little something - poop is pretty important when it comes to babies. It's pretty central to health and happiness and all that jazz. When you have a newborn, the docs want you to literally write down every time your little one has a bowel movement. Not only do you write down the time, you have to describe it. Is it black? Green? Yellow? Is it seedy? Is it like tar? Is there any red or purple coloration going on? It it solid? Does it have a pudding-like consistency? Is it reminiscent of peanut butter? Is it watery?
It doesn't stop with newborns, either. Even with Addie, poop is important. It can mean a good day or a terrible day. It can inform us of exactly what she ate the day before (Blueberries!) and sometimes it can give us clues as to what she needs to eat more of. (Something other than blueberries!)
To all expectant mothers and fathers out there - be prepared for poop. When you have a baby or even 2 babies, you are surrounded by it. You will change poopy diapers everyday. You will get it on your hands and under your fingernails and on your bed sheets or carpet or wherever else you change diapers. You will be able to notice the stench from a mile away. You will be driving down the road, rubbing your nose and you'll be able to smell it on your hands, even though you thoroughly washed your hands with actual soap and water, not just that antibacterial stuff. In the same day, you will find yourself needing some similar relief. Without warning, you'll be rushing to a Marshall's bathroom with a 4-month old strapped to your chest and your 21 month-old glaring at you from her stroller, wondering how in the world you're going to pull this off. Later that day, you'll realize it's time to do something about your little baby and her lack of pooping. (Has it really been six days? That explains a lot.) You'll send your husband out for infant suppositories and he'll have to ask the drugstore clerks what seems like a thousand questions before they know what he's talking about. He'll get home and hand them to you. And you, without apprehension, will strip that baby down and lay her on a towel. You'll slide the little torpedo right where it belongs and you will wait to be amazed at the power of medicine. And then you'll look into your husband's eyes and you'll start laughing. You'll think back on fond memories of skipping class to drink beers by the river or staying up late to talk about your dreams on the roof and you'll realize just how much your life has changed. And you'll be thinking: Poop. I was not prepared for poop.
-L
POOP.
Seriously. Poop. As common as this thing/event/necessity is in our lives, no one talks about it. Not even when you have a baby. Sure, people talk about diapers and wipes and all of that, but everyone skirts around the actual topic of poop.
Let me tell you a little something - poop is pretty important when it comes to babies. It's pretty central to health and happiness and all that jazz. When you have a newborn, the docs want you to literally write down every time your little one has a bowel movement. Not only do you write down the time, you have to describe it. Is it black? Green? Yellow? Is it seedy? Is it like tar? Is there any red or purple coloration going on? It it solid? Does it have a pudding-like consistency? Is it reminiscent of peanut butter? Is it watery?
It doesn't stop with newborns, either. Even with Addie, poop is important. It can mean a good day or a terrible day. It can inform us of exactly what she ate the day before (Blueberries!) and sometimes it can give us clues as to what she needs to eat more of. (Something other than blueberries!)
To all expectant mothers and fathers out there - be prepared for poop. When you have a baby or even 2 babies, you are surrounded by it. You will change poopy diapers everyday. You will get it on your hands and under your fingernails and on your bed sheets or carpet or wherever else you change diapers. You will be able to notice the stench from a mile away. You will be driving down the road, rubbing your nose and you'll be able to smell it on your hands, even though you thoroughly washed your hands with actual soap and water, not just that antibacterial stuff. In the same day, you will find yourself needing some similar relief. Without warning, you'll be rushing to a Marshall's bathroom with a 4-month old strapped to your chest and your 21 month-old glaring at you from her stroller, wondering how in the world you're going to pull this off. Later that day, you'll realize it's time to do something about your little baby and her lack of pooping. (Has it really been six days? That explains a lot.) You'll send your husband out for infant suppositories and he'll have to ask the drugstore clerks what seems like a thousand questions before they know what he's talking about. He'll get home and hand them to you. And you, without apprehension, will strip that baby down and lay her on a towel. You'll slide the little torpedo right where it belongs and you will wait to be amazed at the power of medicine. And then you'll look into your husband's eyes and you'll start laughing. You'll think back on fond memories of skipping class to drink beers by the river or staying up late to talk about your dreams on the roof and you'll realize just how much your life has changed. And you'll be thinking: Poop. I was not prepared for poop.
-L
