family
Life is so immensely heavy and beautiful. In the midst of food making, diaper changing, house cleaning, blog reading, husband loving, and day dreaming, I find myself sighing over and over again. A happy sigh. A sigh of relief, satisfaction, contentment, joy. A tide of goodness washes over me, reminding me again and again that I made the right decision. Staying home is anything but easy. Sure, some days I don't put real clothes on until late and I probably spend way too much time on the computer, but life is so good this way. My daughters are here and I'm with them and it's just good this way.
Loading the dishwasher after breakfast this morning, Adair looked at me and said, "More milk, please!" as clear as day. And it hit me like a TON OF BRICKS that my baby daughter will be two years old in two weeks. Thinking about how my life has transformed completely the past two years is overwhelming in the best way. The one who made me a mom, who taught me how to be a mom - her mom, is almost TWO! I can't even deal with this. I don't know how.
Or when I'm kissing Ingrid's warm cheeks and she's just smooshing her face around mine with the biggest smile on her face because she loves it so much, I almost die from the love. I can feel it in my chest, ready to explode all over the place. I think about my new baby and how I just gave birth to her and then I remember that no, it's October now and she's nearly seven months old. And I about die again.
Or when Addie has her big girl boots on and her hair in pigtails and is running up and down the hall screaming, "Is it fast?!" Is it fast?!" She looks like she's four and I can't help but picture her walking to kindergarten or having her first sleepover. And I know that she'll be eighteen someday, leaving me forever and all I can do is sigh my happy sigh, thankful for making this decision to stay home and grow them up myself.
A TON OF BRICKS, I tell you. A TON OF BRICKS...
-L
Loading the dishwasher after breakfast this morning, Adair looked at me and said, "More milk, please!" as clear as day. And it hit me like a TON OF BRICKS that my baby daughter will be two years old in two weeks. Thinking about how my life has transformed completely the past two years is overwhelming in the best way. The one who made me a mom, who taught me how to be a mom - her mom, is almost TWO! I can't even deal with this. I don't know how.
Or when I'm kissing Ingrid's warm cheeks and she's just smooshing her face around mine with the biggest smile on her face because she loves it so much, I almost die from the love. I can feel it in my chest, ready to explode all over the place. I think about my new baby and how I just gave birth to her and then I remember that no, it's October now and she's nearly seven months old. And I about die again.
Or when Addie has her big girl boots on and her hair in pigtails and is running up and down the hall screaming, "Is it fast?!" Is it fast?!" She looks like she's four and I can't help but picture her walking to kindergarten or having her first sleepover. And I know that she'll be eighteen someday, leaving me forever and all I can do is sigh my happy sigh, thankful for making this decision to stay home and grow them up myself.
A TON OF BRICKS, I tell you. A TON OF BRICKS...
-L
